Ask The Coach – How close is too close

March 17th, 2012 // 7:46 pm @ Site Admin

I got a twitter question from @kittencalendar

The questions can pertain to a BDSM scene, a swinging scene, or any other alternative sexuality scene normally done in private, done in public.

@BoBlaze I’ll start with an etiquette question: For a scene I’m not personally in, how much watching is too much?

Thanks for your question KittenCalendar! First of all, it depends on where you are. If you are perving through someone’s window in the middle of the night. ANY amount of watching is too much, as you haven’t been invited. 😉

I’m assuming you are talking about being in a public play space, or someplace that others are aware that people will be watching. In that situation,

I have always said that the your closeness to the scene should be inverse to the time spent staring.

In other words, if you come around a corner and see something very interesting, but are now 12 inches from it, you should glance at it quickly and move on just as fast. But if you are half way across the room, then feel free to stare to your heart’s content.

The bottom line is you don’t want to be “felt” by the participants you are watching. You all know that person who is always just a liiiiiitle bit too close and you just KNOW he’s right behind you. DON’T BE THAT PERSON! Watching is completely normal and many people really enjoy being watched. Your responsibility is to just not interrupt the scene with your presence.

As your questions to bo via email, facebook.com/boblaze or on Twitter @BoBlaze

Category : Alternative Lifestyle &Story Archive