Moving from a vanilla relationship to a BDSM Lifestyle – Guest Post
October 23rd, 2012 // 2:05 pm @ Site Admin
Here is a guest post from our friends at Adam & Eve on a very important subject.
Moving from a primarily vanilla relationship into do a BDSM lifestyle can be a little tricky at times. Perhaps, you’ve been thinking about trying it, but you’re not sure where your partner stands. Are they interested in it? Are they capable of being that kind of person for you? Are you compatible in the roles that you would assume?
Coming into this lifestyle does have its challenges, but it can be lot of fun, make your relationship stronger and be extremely eye opening. Use some of these tips to start being submissive or dominant tonight.
The most important thing you can do is talk to your partner. This isn’t like the time you wanted to try out a new vibrator, so you brought it home and and whipped it out mid session. This needs a little more finesse and understanding. Talk to your partner and see if they are interested and if they know anything about the lifestyle. If they aren’t very knowledgeable, spend some time perusing this blog and other BDSM online resources.
Once they are on board, it’s important to set up a safe word. Doing so will help you both feel like you’re still in control even at times when its been taken away from you. It’s also important because it will teach you both what the other’s limits are.
Then start small if you’re both comfortable with the idea. Don’t run out and buy all the of the leather covered whips, handcuffs and blindfolds you can find. Use normal household items at first to make the transition easy. Grab a tie to use as handcuffs or a blindfold. Be sure to start incorporating the language and the tone. Tie your partner to the bed and demand they spread their legs wide. Easing into it will help you both become accustomed to the pace and the roles.
Once you feel like you’ve used the most of your ties and scarves, you can graduate to the bigger guns. Replace the scarves with actual blindfolds and the ties with bondage tape from Adameve.com. Add in a whip or a bondage kit. And then get back to work.
Continue to build from there. Once you feel comfortable, reach out for more. Add in a spreader bar, a door swing, a strap on, anal beads… and so on. It’s imperative that you do your research once you begin to dive deeper. You want to make sure that while you may be inflicting pain or domination that you’re still using the toys correctly and safely.
And as always, clean your toys before and after every use and avoid toys made from unsafe body materials. Keep and open mind and have fun!
Thanks to Adam & Eve for this great article!
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